The Bitch Code

The concept of the ‘bitch’ is not new to anyone. The term ‘bitch’ can be applied with such a wild variety of adjectives, it really could exist as the primary insult and our vocabulary wouldn’t be lacking!

And the Bitch of the Year award goes to....

I am certain I have used the gamut of these terms at one time or another to describe various people who have come into my life and for whatever reasons they have plucked from their vicious little hearts, decided to shit all over it. And, if you are reading this under the age of 20, I am sorry to burst your bubble, but bitches come in all ages, shapes and sizes and, contrary to what your mother told you, are not confined to High School. However, the benefit of age is that you can become more adept at spotting a bitch before she has the opportunity to turn rancid.

When I use the term ‘bitch’ I am referring to someone who makes you want to pull a face like you've been sucking on lemons while licking sandpaper when you leave their company. Someone who has the ability to rip out your guts, tie it knots and put it back without spilling a drop of blood for anyone else to see. Someone who glows in the triumph of tearing someone else down. Someone who is so marinated in damage that they cause it wherever they go. A key ingredient to the bitch code is that the less personal insight she has, the bigger bitch she is guaranteed to be. In short, a bitch is a deeply unhappy soul. The wider a bitch opens her mouth, the bigger the hole in her heart is.
 

And please allow me to clarify, I am not saying that men cannot be equally nasty or bitchy. My focus is on women here because I believe in the powerful connection that exists in quality female friendships and the devastation that their betrayal can cause. While I have had some genuinely awesome male friends in my time, I have never connected with them as deeply as I have with my female friends. Apart from, obviously, the man I married.

Female friendships can be immensely powerful.

Unfortunately, like many of you gorgeous friends and readers, I have had my fair share of bitches come into my life. And on every ‘the bitch strikes’ occasion I have struggled to understand their behaviour, unpack their motives, looked for my role in the situation and generally felt miserable.

But here is what I have learned and pay attention, it will save you needless heartache: bitches believe (consciously or otherwise) that your happiness takes away from their own. They are the type of people who see happiness and joy as a bank account, and if you are making a withdrawal, you are removing the amount of happiness and joy from the universe that they can access and they will try to punish you for it.

Bitches have ‘empty’ parts in them that cannot be sated through normal life. The unhappiness runs too deeply. When a profound joy occurs to another, it has the ability to scratch some very raw parts within a bitch. Without them even being aware that it is happening, the emotional arousal can tap into damage and unhappiness that may have been hidden for years, even a whole lifetime.

There is nothing like an emotional event to bring out the best and the worst in the people around you. Events like weddings and funerals, and those of similar magnitude, just have the power to bring out an inner bitch in even the most unbitchiest of people, just by scratching at unhappiness, damage and resentment. 

When a bitch befalls your path,there is no need to waste time feeling guilty, analysing your behaviour, their motives and dissecting the possible reasons why she could possibly have behaved like such a schmuck. Just accept that the woman is deeply unhappy about her life is and has found ways to punish you for yours.

Now, everyone has the capacity to feel emotionally triggered in some way through other people’s good fortune. However, the emotionally enlightened among us may recognise when this is occurring, back off, sit down and sort it out without damaging anyone in the process. However, the bitch, due her lack of ability or willingness to utilise personal insight (usually through an unconscious fear of the depth of ugliness she will find), has the capacity to go out in a blaze of total catastrophe, bringing darkness, mess and nastiness to those around her.

Dealing with bitches is really simple. Their actions can stir up in you a range of emotions like guilt, sadness, anger, disillusionment, a deep need to want to ‘fix’ things or ‘clear’ your name, especially if the bitch has dragged others into the drama she created. You may desire to feel 'heard' and 'understood' by the bitch and perhaps even salvage the friendship. But the truth of it is, anything you do plays right into her drama and continues it. Just bow out. Silently and with dignity. If others have been dragged in by the bitch, let her actions tell them who she really is. You don’t need to. In these instances, all you need to do is try not to let her actions take root in your world and cause misery and destruction. 

My mother used to tell me "if you lie down with dogs, you get flees" and never is that been more true than in a situation where a bitch is involved. The simple truth of the bitch code is, don't fight dirty and you'll walk away clean.

Til next time,
Wyld. x