This article is about letting it go. Not with
poise, glamour and grace, but picking it up (metaphorically speaking) swearing
at it, thanking it for whatever its purpose was, and then kicking it the curb
like last season’s fluro knits with shoulder pads. You know the speech, “ yeah,
thanks, it was super for a while (was it really?), but I’m moving on.” That kinda
thing.
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| Walk away from whatever or whoever it may be that no longer serves you. Image from flickr.com |
There
comes a point, and for me it was my mid thirties, where I just ceased to
continue to give things that didn’t matter energy as though they did. I stopped
questioning my every thought, worrying about what people might think or what
might happen in the future, and I just let go.
Although at this point I must say that I
feel that ‘let go’ is a slight misnomer because I didn’t so much ‘let go’ of
stuff, as I did hold tighter to my own view and interpretation of the world. I
liken this to an image I once saw where a little girl clung tightly to a
balloon and stared intently, so intently in fact, that the balloon started to
lift her off the ground. All she could see was the awesomeness of the balloon. The
balloon, for me, symbolized the present moment and every bit of energy and
focus the little girl had went into dissecting the balloon for every fragment of beauty it contained. She didn’t worry
about what it used to be, or what it would become, or whether it would deflate,
she just soaked it in. She loved it completely and was completely in the
moment.
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| Lift with Lightness. Stunning image from Jonathon LeVine Gallery. |
Letting go of needless baggage has this
same lightening effect. Depending on the load we drop we really can feel like
our feet are lifting off the ground. I know a woman who recently gave up her
quest for this certain weight that she thought she believed she should be in
order to experience happiness, because she realized that she actually found
other women with her frame very attractive. She didn’t really believe, in her
own heart of hearts, that she needed to be thinner, but she had been seduced in
thinking that she did by a number of influential people and factors in her
world. We are all guilty of this at some point. Whether its punishing ourselves
for being single, when we secretly enjoy it (but may not know it), or staying
in a certain job not realizing that the security it offers means more to us
than experiencing the uncertainty of trying something new.
Letting go is simply about choosing to
value certain voices in our heads more than we do others. And perhaps these
others have pervaded our minds and thoughts for quite some time. Our mother's disapproving
passive aggression leads us to question the motives and intent of everything
that is said around us. The experiences of a few gigantic dickheads in our past
leads us to hear that all men are untrustworthy. The few harsh words from a
past employer can pervade our current work even though we have had years of
experience and growth in between. Hear them. Name where they come from. Let them
go.
I found a conversation I had recently with
a woman at my local swimming pool astoundingly insightful and provocative. This
delightful soul, who I shall nickname ‘Birdie’ told me that whenever she calls
her mother via Skype, she wears a scarf knitted for her by loved ones, to cloak
her in love, and holds a saucepan lid in front of her belly. I asked her, "why a saucepan
near your belly?" She replied that she felt her mother’s verbal attacks mostly
in her stomach. She used the saucepan lid as a physical shield to metaphorically
deflect the blasts. Birdie decided that rather than take her mother’s comments
on board any more, she would simply deflect them, and used a physical object to
help her remember to do so.
We can do exactly the same thing! Perhaps
not by carrying a saucepan at our bellies, but with an amulet or other chosen
object to remind us of a new way of thinking. A preferred identity if you want
to use the psychotherapist terminology for it. You might carry a rock in your
pocket, like on the movie ‘Mental’ to remind you of an experience. Or wear a
piece of jewellery to remind you of your worth, like in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
You might hold something dear that was given to you by someone you admire, like
Judd Nelson in the Breakfast Club. You might decide that every time you look at
your watch you will remember a statement that takes you closer to what you
want. Heck you might decide that you always feel best when your fringe looks
fierce and never to leave the house without it combed properly. Whatever it
takes to help you feel your best, think your best and release what and who no
longer works for you, do it!
Now is the time. There will never be
another time just like this time. It’s time to stop hating what is wrong with
now, and instead accepting it as a flaw and graceful component of a gift of a
moment you will never have again. Imagine a birthmark on a diamond or on a face, it's there so will
you always know it belongs to you. The only gems without flaws are those made
in factories and those are cheap. Why? Because they are false and manufactured.
Right now you are in the middle of a diamond. It doesn’t really matter what is
going on, just change your mind about it. Recognise it for what it is and know
that you have the strength to create what you want out of it. The alternatives
to this are not pleasant.
It really is time to let it go. Holding on
to a story that isn’t working for you any more? An illness? An injury? A
person? A job? A relationship? A bunch of stuff? Let it all go. Just keep your
eye on the balloon and float away with lightness.
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| Dedicated to my longstanding friend who stands no more. May your balloon carry you to the heavens you never found on Earth. xox Picture from guineveregetssober.com |
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